I can’t be alone in the way that being a new mom in those first few weeks just feels like I completely missed it. Everything was done and done in a timely manner for my son, but I have no clue how the hell I managed to do it. Now that my son is eight months old, I can’t help but look back on his newborn photos and think of how insanely fast we went through the absolute hardest and easiest time in motherhood it was so far. Did your body really just make it work even when your mind was on autopilot? Nursing every two hours all day long and being able to fall asleep at literally any time of the day at the drop of a dime. Once you get past those weeks, however, your newborn turns into an infant and starts developing patterns, likes, dislikes, and little bits of their personality finally come out. While this is a very exciting time, it was HARD for me to navigate and find our rhythm. Babies don’t do what you want them to, they do what they need to. You just have to keep guessing to figure out what they need? Yes, but with some help!
The best thing I did for myself was downloading the Huckleberry App! During the premium free trial I was able to track my little booger’s sleep, diapers, feedings. This was especially handy because I could never remember how long or how often he was eating, pottying, and sleeping when asked by his doctor. Because mom-brain is a huge struggle. I still use this app mostly to track his sleep because I am generally very forgetful.
The second best thing I did for myself was to stop looking at the clock. Yeah. Really. I completely ignored the time and focused on how long my baby had been awake. There are lots of wonderful articles on the science behind this! First and foremost, overtired babies are to be avoided at all costs. There is nothing harder to deal with than a baby that is so tired they cannot fall asleep, especially when you want to be asleep and you’re running on empty with a splash of low patience (like I constantly was). It is one of the saddest cries because you know they need the rest and you do, too, but they just can’t get there in any understandable time frame. Not a good time for anyone.
Another reason this is great for you and your baby is the fact that timing each nap to an hour on a clock will only further your frustration and planning. Motherhood has enough of those two things as it is, why add to the pile? I mentioned that babies run on their own schedule, but the amount of time they can be awake before the gates of hell break loose is usually within a range appropriate to your baby’s age. My son, being 8 months old, will roughly be awake for 2.5 to 3.5 hours at a time starting now. For the longest time he was only awake for 2 hours at a time, so I would suggest asking your pediatrician or looking on their website to see what they recommend for your baby’s age.
Wake windows are the absolute jam. I love them. My son loves them. They work so well for us. BUT. And I mean but. I had a hard time when it came to being somewhere at a specific time. I would drive around for an extra 20 minutes because I would put him in the car when he was ready for a nap and then keep driving until we were supposed to be wherever we were going or he woke up. While my son did and usually does like the car, if I put him in too early or late, it was a struggle. With that being said, motherhood is the juggling act above all juggling acts. Many times I was able to juggle without dropping the balls and others I could barely throw the ball up to catch it. Life happens.
The last reason as to why the wake window method is so helpful is that you have to give up control and listen to your baby. The sooner you realize who is driving who, the easier it is on your rhythm. You have to roll with those unexpected moments and allow yourself forgiveness when you misstep. Things will change constantly and for seemingly no reason at all. Your baby doesn’t know what they are going to feel like until it’s happening. While it is good to have an idea of what your day may look like, remember it is only a general idea. Trying not to get anxious when you’re anxious seems like an impossible task, but you have to remember why you are stressed in the first place. This is a beautiful time in your child’s life where you are needed and loved and I, for one, respect you more than anyone else in the world. You are on your journey through the most thankless and rewarding job ever known to man. Give yourself some grace, love your baby with every ounce you have left, and find your groove.
Not So Motherly Instincts 