No amount of preparation will prepare you for your first baby. Wow. It is such a wild ride! Running on hormones, you feel unstoppable. Then you come home with a new set of hormones and cry your eyes out for no reason. Yin and Yang I suppose. I have never been much for other people’s children, like yes I want to play with them and cuddle or talk to them, but no I do not want to change their diapers and listen to them scream. My own son though, complete opposite story. He has yet to do a single thing to be able to change my mind about the fact that he is the cutest and best baby I have ever laid my eyes on. He is absolutely wonderful even when he’s losing his mind. They have to be cute for a while to prep you for the toddler stage, which I hear can sometimes feel like an absolute nightmare. While he is getting me ready for the long days now, I was not ready for what having a baby really was.
Having a baby is a wild ride and bringing it home to be your baby is a whole different experience. Once the nurses are gone, it’s day and night. Yes I was one of those moms that asked the nurse to watch my baby to sleep better between feedings, no guilt there. Coming home to a little screamer that first night was a shock. I didn’t have much of a nesting drive while pregnant. I know a lot of women do, but I was really detached from what was ahead of me and genuinely thought it would all just work itself out. Newsflash, it didn’t. Sometimes I would get stressed and look through baby shower items we received and just try and get excited about soon being able to use those things, but more times than not, I was completely and utterly exhausted.
Here’s how to not end up rearranging your house and running to the store multiple times/amazon shopping every day!
First thing I would recommend is to move everything! You might think setting up the nursery will be the most beneficial, but I would say that having your whole house setup ready is more important. You are not likely to only have your baby in their nursery/your room. The name of the newborn game is SURVIVAL. Having only one place for diapers and wipes? Having all burp cloths in one drawer? Having only our bed and his bassinet for him to lay on? Having most of the baby clothes in a bin on the other side of the basement? Didn’t work for us. We quickly realized that we needed lots of changes. While no baby and parent and living situation is the same, I highly suggest you really look at your personality and do what you think is best with your resources. I am lazy when I am even just a little tired. I needed to have diapers and wipes and bib cloths and snacks and extra clothes and swaddles and diaper cream and anything I had more than one of to be in more than one place. I had baskets everywhere. We initially thought we were going to sleep in our own bed and have our baby in a bassinet beside me. Well between my c-section and my husband’s inability to stop himself from rolling me out of the bed, I was not able to use our bed to breastfeed in or sleep in. Huge bummer. Our living space had to be turned into a fully functioning, full time baby zone in one day.
The second thing I would recommend is getting all of the clothes ready. And I don’t just mean snuggling with the freshly washed baby onesies. I mean do it, but I am talking more about organizing. We had most of our newborn size baby clothes in one tiny dresser designated for his clothing only. By most I mean like 10 newborn outfits and 2 hats. Which was definitely not enough. Minimalism and parenting together brings quite a learning curve. I ended up throwing a couple in every basket I had scattered around along with some in the dresser. Aside from baby clothes, you need your clothes in order too! I was wearing the same oversized t-shirt, robe, and shorts for about a week, which I will admit was kinda gross, but I was ill prepared for the adventures of breastfeeding and the postpartum experience. Even in our basement in the middle of the winter, I was sweating. Bonus to the sweat, was the fact that I was still needing giant clothes after my c-section because of the scar tissue healing. High-waisted everything and shirts big enough to lift for easy breastfeeding access. As much as I wanted to be able to wear my normal clothes and outfits, I couldn’t. I didn’t have enough room anymore. I still think my clothes shrunk on me, but that’s another story. I didn’t think I would need nursing clothes, but they turned out to be a necessity! Whether you “bounce back” or not, or have a vaginal or c-section birth, your clothing after pregnancy should be comfortable and easy. You have enough to stress about with your adorable bundle wrapped up in your arms.
My last tip is to ASK QUESTIONS. I cannot stress this enough. I was so anxious at every appointment, I thought I was going to throw up and I never asked any questions. You have to put yourself front and center of your birth experience. Nobody is going to tell you everything you want to know without you asking. If you want a birth plan written down by the minute, go for it, but not having one at all? That was kind of confusing. I made every decision on the fly. I thankfully had my husband to bounce thoughts off of and my mom is and always has been a phone call away. I had basically refused to think about birth. I was so terrified that I chose to ignore that it was coming. Even the day I went in for my induction, I was so mentally far away. Not saying there’s a bad way to give birth or to think about giving birth, but ignoring it was not my brightest idea. I felt so dumb when I asked questions because I thought everyone else knew the answer. Your doctor should be there for you, but you have to put yourself in a position to have the conversation. My doctor, as wonderful as she was, was not big on giving me extra information. She told me the routine things, but because I didn’t ask any questions, she assumed I knew all I wanted to know. Ask away and your doctor should be as helpful as they can be. Of course, no one knows everything and anything could change at any time, but you and your doctor should both be on the same page and have the same expectations.
I hope this helps prepare as best you can for the unpreparable moment of motherhood. Just remember the big picture. You and your baby will soon meet and continue your journey together in the world. Ready or not.
Not So Motherly Instincts 