There is a big emphasis on the LEARNING part of this title. I am still going through this and honestly it seems to be kind of a continual thing. It is a lot of reminding yourself that you can’t do it all and deciding that doing what you can handle is just fine. As much as we love superheroes and probably know a handful, not everyone is on the same level or piece of their journey. All that matters is that you do the best you can. You’ll start to fall in love with the process of life.
If you’re like me and the possibility of letting someone down stresses you out so much you go to every event even when you’re not up to it, then this is your time to shine. Well, we’re on the path to shining. It is so hard to have a baby and say no. It feels impossible. It feels like you have to because everyone wants to see the baby. Who wouldn’t? They’re freaking adorable! And the cute and tiny aspect will eventually wear off along with the pressure to make an appearance. At least I hope the pressure eventually does wear off… My point, though, is that I have tried everything. I have tried to keep up with everyone I know and show my cute baby’s face as much as possible so that no one will be unhappy with me. That backfired. Burnout is real, Mamas. Burnout is so, so real and not easy to pull yourself out of. I won’t say I am not blessed with a support system because I truly am, but all the help in the world won’t get you anywhere if you don’t change. Right? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different outcome.
Just the pure level of daily exhaustion will make you resent everyone and everything in your path. Every minor hiccup will start to feel like a hurricane if you’re not reminding yourself that you’re the one in charge of the tide. More than anything, you have an obligation to yourself. You are the one in charge of your happiness, your time, and your boundaries. While people may check up on you from time to time, you have to check on yourself. If not for yourself, then for your parents, husband, boyfriend, siblings, grandparents, and especially your baby. If you’re not your best self, you cannot be the best anything else.
I saw this on a TikTok a few months back and I feel like it is a huge life changing thought. If I can remember the TikToker I will edit this to add it! But, she mentioned that a huge part of becoming a parent is realizing that your immediate family is now just you, your significant other, and your baby. All other relatives are now considered extended family. I sat on this idea for days before it really started to resonate with me and my family. And she is absolutely right! Even after I was married, it still didn’t really feel like we were our own family, but after our son, it felt like the whole world changed and I couldn’t put my finger on it until that video. If you didn’t think you had enough to adjust to, add a new family dynamic to the list.
Above all, it is important to remember that this is still your life! I try to keep that front and center when I am stuck thinking about the next 100 moves I need to make to keep my house running smoothly. Yeah a nice, clean house is great, but do you love the life you’re currently living? Did you stop doing the things that keep your cup full and yourself happy? It could be anything from watching the sunrise to having a clean car to cooking great food to reading while you eat your dinner. Everyone deserves to be happy, but you have to stop sabotaging yourself. Of course you’re going to be overwhelmed if you don’t have anything you like to do on your daily list and a million obligations piling up. How can you have a good time if you’re looking at a list of things that you don’t enjoy with no room for fun or breaks? You are still you. A little different post-baby, but you are still living your life and you still deserve to be happy and enjoy it. Say no when you need to and say yes when you can. People will understand and accept you if they really love you.
Not So Motherly Instincts 